Counterintelligence Field Activity, CIFA for short,
has been caught red-handed targetting anti-war groups.
What does CIFA do?
Newsweek reports: "... the deputy Defense secretary
now acknowledges that some TALON reports may have
contained information on U.S. citizens and groups that
never should have been retained. The number of reports
with names of U.S. persons could be in the thousands,
says a senior Pentagon official who asked not be named
because of the sensitivity of the subject."
" ... CIFA has contracted to buy "identity masking"
software that would allow the agency to create phony
Web identities and let them appear to be located in
foreign countries, according to a copy of the contract
with Computer Sciences Corp. (The firm declined to
comment.)..."
CSC was among the first contractors brought into the
NSA by Hayden.
The following informal blog exchange is rife with
leads and further information, a raw data mine. James
C. King, currently embroiled in the investigation of
MZM, which he runs (recently rolled into a firm called
Athena, which King also controlls ((with Richard
Armitage and a number of other ultracon spooks)), a
corporate shell game intended to frustrate lawsuits
accrued filed over the corruption at MZM), was a CIFA
operative.
CIFA is the latest acronym for COINTELPRO, Internet
division - and they work closely with the FBI. Home of
the trolls.
- AC
-------------
http://www.haloscan.com/comments/patriotboy/1090268528809053/#74197
So, uh, General, you want I should go find some of
those CIFA spam-trolls and give 'em a good
tire-tooling?
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 07.19.04 - 10:57 pm | #
Hee hee, looky what happens when you do a "whois?" on
a CIFA.mil IP addy.
For counter-terrorists, they sure are sloppy. You'd
think they'd try doing a google search for "public
proxy server" instead of leaving a trail that even a
slobberingly drunk Elder God could follow.
Ahh, our tax dollars at work :-P
PS: Welcome back, General =)
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.19.04 - 11:09 pm | #
Some liburl slacker over at CIFA is screwing off on
the computer when the boss ain't looking and reading
Jesus' General. He's probably hitting a few porn
sites, petmeds.com, and ebay.
Sometimes the simplest answer could be the correct
one.
Yankee in exile | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 12:14 am | #
General,
we owe you thanks for the heads-up that our
specialized monitoring process is not meeting the
required anonyomous specs as defined in directive CM-5
1099, INFOCOM. This oversight will be corrected
shortly.
Yours in patriotism,
CIFA
CIFA | 07.20.04 - 12:15 am | #
Sometimes the simplest answer could be the correct
one.
Ok, yeah, Occam's Razor is usually right; but Stark
Raving Paranoia is more fun, and better for the ego.
Sheesh, yankee, I bet you're a hoot at funerals :-P
re CIFA anonymity: If you have any other suggestions
for hiding CIFA.mil, I posted the building address,
snail-mail address, e-mail address, and telephone
number for their proxy site (nipr.mil) here. Help them
defend us from the evil Frenchmen.
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 12:33 am | #
Chances are your sites were visited by webbots based
on links from other sites, based on certain
combinations of keywords, from an semantic web
application probably created using RDF.
Have you see the CIFA directive? It's at
http://www.fas.org/irp/doddir/do...od/ d5105_67.htm.
Shelley | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 12:55 am | #
Um, General:
Your URL
http://http//mightyspork.blogspo...about- cifa.html
automatically gets diverted to the Microsoft
Corporation home page.
Has the Inner Frenchman defected to the dark side?
puzzledly yours,
cgeye (Miss.)
cgeye | 07.20.04 - 1:00 am | #
Like I was saying, Occam's Razor isn't much fun. In
any event, for super-secret cyber-sleuths, they sure
aren't very good at covering their slime-trails (and I
would know something about that).
I saw that directive back in May, when I was initially
trying to figure out who CIFA was. My personal logs
show extremely brief visits, which made me think that
I was just a blip in a program, or that someone was
bored during their lunch-break.
But, again, where is the fun in that?
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 1:01 am | #
I feel so much safer now.
Emily | 07.20.04 - 1:24 am | #
General:
I used to work for an undercover investigative agency.
Non-investigative computers had the domain name that
identified us as that agency; computers used for
investigation were dedicated computers that had
anonymous ip addresses that could have been anything.
If we were investigating a site, standing orders were
that we were in no way, shape, or form, supposed to
visit the site on non-investigative computers.
Therefore, you are probably not being investigated; a
true American who shares your beliefs, but also
happens to work in that branch just happened to be
reading your site. If you were being investigated, you
wouldn't know it, unless you happened to know the IP
address of the dedicated investigation systems.
BJ Chavez | 07.20.04 - 2:38 am | #
Therefore, you are probably not being investigated...
I agree. More likely, The General is right: CIFA is
just looking out for his best interests, doing their
part to help keep the French and other Freedumb®
lovers away.
Of course, I'd feel much safer if they would set their
bots to search for emails starting with
"beHUNGforWOMAN" or "freeCI@LIS".
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 2:52 am | #
General,
What mechanisms are you using to handle spam? I used
to use Mozilla Thunderbird, mainly because it has a
nice, manly, military mission sounding name.
Thunderbird. Just saying it makes me want to sodomize
an Ay-rab child to extract vital information to
protect our troops. It uses Bayesian statistics to
learn what spam looks like and get rid of it for me.
It worked great.
But then I found out that Bayes may have been
privately tutored by de Moivre, a Frenchman. Now, I
took Bill O'Reilly's calls to boycott the French to
heart. In fact, I came to believe that Mr. O'Reilly
did not go far enough. Why stop at boycotting French
wines and black-and-white movies about mimes? I
boycott everything with the stink of Frenchdom on it;
the Statue of Liberty and the nearby town of
Lafayette, CA, included. When I have to use an English
word derived from the French, I make sure to
mispronounce it. I don't need no fancy bottled grape
juice years past its "Sell By" date. They sell that
shit in boxes these days. I don't need no Jerry Lewis
(except for the telethons, but that's for... other
reasons). And I don't need no damned French
mathematics!
I need to find a new, more American spam filter,
though, so I'm interested in what you use. If there
are no good options, though, this is a sacrifice I am
willing to make for my God, my Country, and my
President. Still, I'm now routinely bombarded with
messages advertising for sites advocating the
homosexual agenda, the height of pornographic filth,
sin, and defilement. I have no idea where these sites
could have gotten my e-mail address, or the idea that
I had signed up with my credit card under the username
"im-spartacus".
But... uh... just for purposes of reference... if I
had visited these sites and signed up to them with my
credit card, is there anyway I can hide the browser
history from, say, my girlfriend?
dak | 07.20.04 - 2:59 am | #
Chances are your sites were visited by webbots based
on links from other sites, based on certain
combinations of keywords, from an semantic web
application probably created using RDF.
SkyNET, perhaps?
dak | 07.20.04 - 3:10 am | #
General, these assurances you are receiving that you
are not under investigation are well-meaning but
misguided. Occam's Razor provides a close shave, but
it is also apt to nick and cut you. I do not advise
that you remain calm and handle things maturely when
the situation obviously calls for mad ravings and
total panic.
This morning, while purchasing my usual bagel with a
shmear, I received a super-secret especially sensitive
coded cream cheese that informed me that the CIFA has
been infiltrated by agents provocateur (they are
French, after all) of the French government. They are
watching you and using God's Government's computers to
do so. Their plan, according to my cream cheese
documentation, is to attack your little soldier at
dawn on the 8th of August and spirit it away to an
interrogation room in Niece, which isn't nice. There
they will torture your little soldier with methods
tested by our own military, choking him until he
pukes, at which point they expect he will be limp with
his torment and will reveal everything he knows. The
title of the cream cheese is especially telling:
"Frenchmen Determined to Kidnap Jesus' General's
Little Soldier in the United States and Take Him to
Niece, Where He Will Be Tortured Until Limp and
Vulnerable". Some might find a title like that
ambiguous, but I can read between the lines. I have
been praying to Jesus of the Corner Deli ever since I
received this message. You must exercise appropriate
caution. I recommend panic. You must construct a hat
made of tinfoil immediately and must also wrap your
little soldier in tinfoil. There is no time to waste.
I intended to deliver the actual cream cheese to you,
but the acids in the smoked salmon, what our semitic
friends would call "matzoh", destroyed the code. The
Mossad is very clever indeed.
G. D. Frogsdong | 07.20.04 - 8:09 am | #
Umm, The great General may not be under investigation.
However, he is clearly under attack. Why send viruses
to his site otherwise. To the walls warriors! We must
protect our fearless, manly leader.
As to not being under investigation:
They wouldn't tell you if you were. The Patriot Act,
you know. We all know the General is a true patriot.
Therefore, he is protected by the Patriot Act. So
there.
just wondering | 07.20.04 - 8:46 am | #
As to not being under investigation: They wouldn't
tell you if you were.
Which proves that I'm under investigation. Unless, of
course, they know that I'd know I was under
investigation by their conspicuous silence, and so
they'd choose to tell me I was under investigation to
throw me off. But then they must know that I would be
able to figure out their ploy, and so they can't tell
me I'm under investigation because then I'd know.
And this is why you should never go in against a
Sicilian when death is on the line.
dak | 07.20.04 - 9:06 am | #
Hah, I'm a Sicilian and.....ACK!!!!
just wondering | 07.20.04 - 9:11 am | #
That cream cheese document is of purely historical
interest and the General need take no note of it.
MO | 07.20.04 - 9:57 am | #
My Dear Gin'rul:
A couple of grain alcohol and rain waters usually does
a purdy effective job of drownin' my pesky Inner Frog.
HS Yours,
I, Dr. Fillbot | 07.20.04 - 10:05 am | #
dak, you should try Kat Cora's restaurant in
Lafayette: Postino. I heard it wasn't as good as when
I was there (about four years ago on vacation), but
when I was there it was fabulous, so it is worth a
try. I still remember the rabbit dish with a demi
glace-based sauce.
G. D. Frogsdong | 07.20.04 - 10:13 am | #
Inconceivable.
bushburner | 07.20.04 - 10:14 am | #
(Said with a slur)
bushburner | 07.20.04 - 10:15 am | #
dak, you should try Kat Cora's restaurant in
Lafayette: Postino.
Duly noted. Next time I'm out that way, I'll stop for
eats. If they serve a good risotto, I may even be able
to drag my girlfriend along. (I say "drag" because the
only reason I'd be out that way is if I'm going to
visit my mom, or coming back thence. And not, if
you're wondering and/or with the authorities, because
I have hitched the poor girl to my bumper.)
dak | 07.20.04 - 11:20 am | #
Your link has an extra http in it.
Should be:
http://mightyspork.blogspot.com/...about- cifa.html
John | 07.20.04 - 12:46 pm | #
G.D. Frogsdong:
Sweet mother of bitter curd Jesus, but you're posting
had me creaming my own cheese--in a non-Semitic,
Christian-flavored way, of course.
OT, but if I sneer when I write "fuck" does that count
as manly? Anyone?
+++
MJS | 07.20.04 - 12:53 pm | #
This whole thing at all three I've read that
mentioned it is a lot of fun. The truth is likely that
folks at CIFA are reading this site because they take
their best advice from Patriotboy about how to run the
war on terror. And that makes me comfortable.
I have alerted readers of the block I write for,
allspinzone.blogspot.com, as well as the owner,
Richard Cranium, to your issue here, Patriotboy. As
many in the world as possible should know that our
military is getting great advice straight from Jesus'
General.
SpinDentist | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 12:54 pm | #
OT, but if I sneer when I write "fuck" does that
count as manly? Anyone?
I don't really know. But since a sneer is really only
a smile without the eyes, it could be interpreted as
"lazy", or perhaps "half-assed".
Just to avoid ambiguity, I always howl out loud with
hysterical laughter whenever I write "fuck". Annoys
the hell out of Ms Cthulhu and scares the crap out of
the dog, but better safe than sorry, ya know.
Excuse me while I go wipe off my chin.
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 12:57 pm | #
Great googly-moogly, Ancient One, your tentacles sure
are flying a mile-a-minute today! I hope that
Mz.Cthulu won't mind that you're sliming the fuck out
of the computer... or suspecting you of visiting all
those "Meat Or Wound?" sites from B3ta.com... I know
how you drool when there's a possibility of viewing
weeping sores...
Okay, so is the General, that scion of respectable
patriotism, being investigated or NOT? I'm lost at
this point. Almost lost enough to find a movie like
Jim Carrey's "I whupped the HUAC" movie, "The
Majestic" plausible.
Isn't "Carrey" a French name?
And when do I need to invade the Baton Rouge EXXON
plant, so that I can gas-up for the road-trip to bust
a few CIFA kneecaps? Y'all are not helping the
planning, here... Sheesh.
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 07.20.04 - 1:39 pm | #
Gracias, Great Cthulhu--but if I may be so bold, if
you sneer when you wipe off your chin...nevermind.
+++
MJS | 07.20.04 - 1:42 pm | #
Great post, General. And equally great followups,
Everyone. (Even you, Anti.) This is fast getting to be
my favorite daily read!
Keep in mind that military intelligence is to
intelligence as military justice is to justice. And we
saw what the latter meant when Abu Ghraib was
inadvertently outed.
Ulricii | 07.20.04 - 2:04 pm | #
P.S. Sorry about that misspell, Annti. (Or should it
be msspell?) Either way, sorry....
Ulricii | 07.20.04 - 2:15 pm | #
AC-
Have you tried using the water from the gulf of mexico
in your car? Surely that's got enough gas in it to use
in the car. Or is that all diesel?
Yosef | 07.20.04 - 3:20 pm | #
General, sir;
I believe that the government may have their sensors
set to detect any French words in blogs, such as
'bagette,' 'oui oui,' or 'douche.'
You must be diligent in screening your commenters,
such as that Frogsdong and Anntichrist (which are both
French-sounding names to me), and make sure that only
American words, such as 'B-B-Q,' 'Hamburger,' and
'Collateral Damage,' are being used.
Metrosexually yours,
Lance Corporal Wry Twinger
wry twinger | 07.20.04 - 3:24 pm | #
Wry, is "penis envy" an American phrase?
I don't know what she meant, but my wife told me I am
one of the few males who could legitimately have penis
envy. Anyone know what she meant by that?
G. D. Frogsdong | 07.20.04 - 3:36 pm | #
That's a Woody Allen line.
wry twinger | 07.20.04 - 3:38 pm | #
I know.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on my
metaphysics final. I looked into the soul of the boy
sitting next to me.
Also Woody's.
G. D. Frogsdong | 07.20.04 - 3:55 pm | #
"All those things that our parents told us were good
for us we now find out are bad for us: milk, the sun,
college...."
wry twinger | 07.20.04 - 4:07 pm | #
An off-topic question for the Gen'r'l.
This Lance Armstrong feller. He's an American, and
lotsa folks seem awfully proud of him. I'm not so
sure.
Bicyclin. Bi Cycling. Is the man advocating for some
queery "two boys for every girl" sorta lifestyle??
The Tour de France. de FRANCE! Nuff said!
Lycra shorts. Skin tight lycra over his manly buttocks
and soldier, leaving little to the imagination a-tall.
I'm not so sure that this Lance Armstrong character is
all he's cracked up to be, no matter what the Missus
says.
Sam
Yo Semite Sam | 07.20.04 - 4:20 pm | #
I believe that the government may have their sensors
set to detect any French words in blogs, such as
'bagette,' 'oui oui,' or 'douche.'
You may be on to something. I use many subversive
words such as "rightard", "neo-clown", and
"chickenhawk fuckheads". Of course, I use these terms
disparagingly, so wouldn't be of any interest to
anyone who is hunting down freepers.
That would explain why CIFA doesn't stick around very
long--once they realize I'm one of the good guys, they
toodle off to Little Green Fascists to look for the
real threats to Freedumb® and Demokracy®
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.20.04 - 5:08 pm | #
YSS,
Not only that but he is peddling his ass all over
France???
bushburner | 07.20.04 - 5:25 pm | #
Oh I'm sorry he's pedalling. But still in my mind...
Talk about imagination.
bushburner | 07.20.04 - 5:28 pm | #
So, if the fact that the General is not being
investigated is in fact proof that he is under
investigation how come that Joe Heller never wrote him
into that Catchy book?
Or is it possible that the General is really Alan
Arkin?
RossK | 07.20.04 - 5:40 pm | #
Hi did write him in. But then he wrote him out again.
'Nother one of those Catch-22's.
Ulricii | 07.20.04 - 7:23 pm | #
1. No pickin' on Armstrong. The man had TESTICULAR
CANCER, so I don't think that he's really an apt
target for "soldierly" humor. I'm sure that, being an
Austin boy, he's more than capable at laughing at his
own tragic losses, but still... not kosher.
2. Twinger, kiss my lily-white, tattooed ass. I took
French in high school & college, I know about three
Cajun French cuss words, but that's as French as I get
(unless we get back to planning the Womens' Corps
Convention... heh heh heh).
3. MJS, do you REALLY wanna think about what Cthulhu
is wiping off of his chin? {{{shudder}}}
4. No, Yosef, I would never brave the man-eating
skeeters down by Grand Isle to get that CLOSE to the
mouth of the Mississippi... I spent 12 years using
that sludge for DRINKING WATER in NOLA --- whatever
makes it to the Gulf, stays there.
5. If the Mrs. is telling you that you have penis
envy, GDF, then maybe she's got a touch of it
herself... or maybe she ran out of Duracell Ultras...
6. And if y'all are going to start quoting the World's
Nerdiest Child-Molester, I'm going to take my football
and go home. Next thing I know, y'all will start
waxing poetic about importing your OWN pubescent Asian
love-slaves... oh, now, why did I say that...
*sigh*
Anntichrist Coulter | 07.20.04 - 9:54 pm | #
Next thing I know, y'all will start waxing poetic
about importing your OWN pubescent Asian
love-slaves...
Hey, don't forget quasi-incestual. It's not nearly as
Nabokovian if we ignore la nymphette Soon's (adoptive)
ties to her suitor.
(BTW: I see some people doubted that the photograph of
Our Leader was of his halo. These people are filthy,
uncultured liberals who only know of halos from
heretic cartoons. See St. James for a composition so
similar, it ought to be cited.)
dak | 07.20.04 - 10:15 pm | #
Aren't Lebanese women technically Asian?
G. D. Frogsdong | 07.21.04 - 1:16 pm | #
Depends on whether or not you still refer to the
Middle East as "The Orient."
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 07.21.04 - 4:02 pm | #
It depends on how I refer to the Middle East?
I don't know if I can take that much responsibility.
G. D. Frogsdong | 07.21.04 - 4:19 pm | #
Awwww, sure ya can. You're a big boy, you can handle
it. Besides, it's not like you called 'em "harem
girls" or anything even more offensive...
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 07.21.04 - 10:12 pm | #
http://rogueplanet.blogspot.com/
RoguePlanet put up this link:
http://www.thepoorman.net/archiv...ves/ 002789.html
Funniest shit I've seen all day, no disrespect or
offense to present company, of course.
And, since neither Rogue nor Poor Man pay me to post
these links, nor do I receive any recompense in any
way for plugging their blogs (and since they do not
have any commercial sponsors who would profit from any
traffic that I might generate) --- nyeh, nyeh, it's
not spam-trolling, so there.
And somebody get the goddamned spam trolls out of my
e-mail -- they are EVER so annoying, what with the
male menopause and all that shit.
*sigh*
If only ALL men could be Manly Men like the Boy-Toy
Auxillary & the General... *sigh*
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 07.21.04 - 10:44 pm | #
Caught that on Whiskey Bar a while back. Some funny
shiite.
Great Cthulhu | Homepage | 07.22.04 - 1:55 am | #
Yes, Whisky Bar is indeed a fine "questionable
joint", but it never hurts the karma chips to give
your old buds a jingle now and then, either.
Anntichrist S. Coulter | 07.22.04 - 10:32 pm | #
I would like to add, Report of the Bipartisan
Commission on Poker Hands: It is clear to us that both
players have made mistakes and no one side is without
blame in this matter.
bushburner | 07.23.04 - 9:41 am | #
It's obviously a trap. Having sent you many viruses
using a variety of aliases to protect their identity,
CIFA then visited your site using an IP that was
openly registered to them hoping that your site would
infect their (sacrificial) computer in turn. Then,
with evidence that you were responsible for damaging a
US government system, they could arrest you for
cyber-terrorism. My advice; don't lock your doors so
the no-knock searches don't damage them, pack for a
tropical "vacation", and "invest" with friends and
relatives of GWB right away (it worked for the
Saudis).
Mojo | 07.23.04 - 3:06 pm | #
In your free time, check some relevant pages about...
Anonymous | 11.30.04 - 8:50 pm | #
Sounds like lunch break scanning. Perhaps someone at
Dod likes french food so much they stumbled upon this
treasured blog in wordsearch?
L'affair General, J'accuse!
Mr.Murder | 12.30.04 - 10:54 am | #
Who's paranoid? I emailed my reservation to Gitmo
last week......
buck-Fush | Homepage | 11.27.05 - 4:52 pm | #
Peace to all.
I have in year and a half of blogging
1)Openly called for the overthrow of the U.S.
Government and do so right now.
2)I e-mailed the Public affairs Officer at the
Pentagon asking him to do his duty and help overthrow
the U.S. Government by acts of Non-violent mutiny,
like refusing to leave barracks or sit a in at his
Congressional Rep. or Senate Home Office.
3)I've asked Mil. Members to do the same on many mil
blogs. (I asked those in Combat areas to continue with
mission reqs. but to contact their Congressional Rep.
and Senators daily and demand withdrawl from Iraq.
4)I've taken part in 5 anti American-Iraq War
demonstrations in Washington DC, one of them being a
march to DOD SEC Rumsfeld's house. BTW-There were over
200,000 people
last Sept. demonstrating.
Just 3 weeks ago I noticed an IP that read DOD.
After such public notice of such a thing as this Mil
vs. Civ spying, you rest assured of one thing. They
been doing it a while.
About 6 weeks ago the DOD came down hard on Mil.
Bloggers and some have been shut down and others are
reposting old posts such as at Armor Geddon
http://avengerredsix.blogspot.com
The goons are afraid we are having an affect on Mil
Members. As well we should. Please urge other Mil
Members to Mutiny in a non-violent way or at least
visit the Mil Blogs and put forth a civil argument.
BTW- TO any DOD person monitoring this site and has at
least an ounce of Humanity left in him or her please
adhere to your sworn oath and protect us from
America's domestic enemies and overthrow the Illegal,
Immoral and Murderous Government of the United States
of America by non-violent acts of Mutiny.
Peace. Your fellow Human
Human | Homepage | 11.28.05 - 12:16 am | #
We know that you monitor other sites too. Many times
I have looked at my logs and seen visits from DoD and
the military as well as Halliburton, among many
others.
Like human said "BTW- TO any DOD person monitoring
this site and has at least an ounce of Humanity left
in him or her please adhere to your sworn oath and
protect us from America's domestic enemies and
overthrow the Illegal, Immoral and Murderous
Government of the United States of America by
non-violent acts of Mutiny."
If you monitors have any compassion do the right
thing.
Static Brain | Homepage | 01.07.06 - 7:45 pm | #